Absence of Light
by themysteryofjade
Summary: A 19 year old girl living with regrets struggles with Death.. Will she win this battle? Will she remember who she was before this traumatizing experience or will she just let it all go?
1. Chapter 1

**The following characters of this story belong specifically to me. And if I mention material that if familiar to others I mean no intention of plagiarism. I'm just a girl with ideas similar to others. Anyways, enjoy and if u leave a review I might just update.. ~Themysteryofjade**

**Absence of Light**

**Chapter 1**

Sometimes I asked myself what my purpose in this world was.

I drove through the cold streets of my city thinking many things. I thought about who I was and how I got here to where I was. A college student with a whole world ahead of her yet with nothing at all because all the good was waiting ahead. All the good was in the future not now in the present and it fucking bothered me. I cried and all I knew was that this wasn't what I wanted my life to be.

All I knew was that I wanted my life to be different. I wanted to be someone different. I wanted to be carefree, spontaneous, friendly, and maybe even fun. I was such a square and a timid girl that had no damn verbal filter. Through my tears, mind experience, and breakdown I could hear all the cars accelerating in the long winded road I was in. I, myself pressed my foot down on the accelerator not wanting to be beat by these motherfuckers that had something going on for them. To these people that had a life. A life that I wanted and did not have.

I cursed myself for being so selfish sometimes. I just wanted something that I did not have. I could not even make up my mind of what I wanted except some happiness.

Then I looked up and saw the big bright stars shining down on the city of Laredo. For one second just for one second I closed my eyes and made a wish.

"I just want my life to be different. I just want to be happy. Please… That's all I want." I opened my eyes and half laughed and cried at my stupidity. Then when I was about to change to another lane a car accelerated and the next thing I knew I was pressing down hard on the break. My car swerved and all I heard was the screeching of the wheels and a loud honking. I remember feeling a pressure in my chest. Then nothing at all.

Everything just…went black.

I would sometimes hear voices around me but they were so faint.

"She's lost so much blood." A male voice said

I fought to stay awake but I didn't stand a chance against the heavy darkness dragging me back down in to unconsciousness. Seconds, minutes, hours, or maybe even days later I heard, "Her heart is beating again that's good."

Yet as soon as I heard something I would drown and lose myself again.

"You think she'll ever wake Michael?" I heard someone ask in a worried tone.

"I don't know. I hope so…" Another voice said

Then I felt the darkness nagging at me and I fell towards and abyss of nothingness. All I heard was a constant sound and someone faintly yelling, "The line's flat! Get a doctor! Hurry!"

Maybe seconds later I heard a firm voice counting, "One. Two, three. Clear! C'mon Miss don't give up!"

Yet I asked myself: what is there to fight for anyway?

What is there here for me?

Where am I?

It's so dark and cold

It so easy to fall…

I'll just rest, I promise

Then maybe I'll wake up again.

I don't know if the voice could hear me but it's all I could hope for because then the darkness came back with a vengeance and dragged me towards a road of never ending peace and a place absent of light and sound.

I could just think two words before I lost myself _I'm sorry…_

And then I lost and stopped struggling with this force and just rested…


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing I heard was a constant beeping noise and it was driving me nuts. Ugh I felt so lightheaded. _What the hell happened to me? _I thought to myself

"Well, you were in a car accident, we lost you a few times gave us a scare there, and you were in a comma for a few months now. That about covers it." A man said with a smile on his face.

"What?" I asked confused and annoyed with this man.

"Don't worry you'll have time to process it later. Let's check those vitals shall we." He said as he took a flashlight from his white coat and flashed it in my eyes.

"What the hell are you doing? I mean what the fuck happened exactly?" I said in a harsh voice. "I mean, who am I? I can't really recall anything right now. So refresh my memory why don't you.." I said as I scooted back on the bed away from the man who I'm assuming is some kind of doctor.

"You don't remember what happened? At all? Okay, can you tell me your name, please?" He asked his green eyes gazing at me with an intensity. "Um.. Sure it's… it's…" for the life of me as much as I thought I couldn't remember my damn name or even where I was from, or my damn birthday..

"Ugh… I can't, can't remember.." I said placing a hand on my forehead since the room was starting to spin a bit and my vision started to blur.

"Woah woah take it easy it's normal. You received a total blow to that head of yours. You suffered from a severe trauma. We'll monitor you for the next few hours and see if you remember something then, yes?" The doctor replied.

"Oh my God! Victoria you're awake! Michael come here look she's awake." A blonde haired girl said as she flung herself to me and clung to me like her life depended on it. She proceeded to sob onto my hospital gown and a black haired tall man with brown eyes stood at the door of my..room? I hesitantly hugged the women on my arms and petted her hair in an attempt to comfort her.

"Victoria?" The man asked me.

"um…. Ummm. Yes?" I asked as I wondered if my name was really Victoria. If it even jogged something but nothing came to me my mind was a big blank space and I was a bit frightened of this.

"Now, now… We need to give Victoria some space and time to recuperate and rest. She seems to have memory-loss at the moment. Though it is typical in these cases we'll wait a few hours and evaluate her. If she still doesn't remember then she'll have to go through therapy and other things as well. Come on let's leave her alone." The doctor said and for that moment I was glad to have him in my life. I sighed and gave him a small smile in gratitude. He smiled back at me and ushered the two distraught people away from me.

**Alright y'all I don't know what to do much right now with this story. I do now what to do what I mean is I didn't know how to write this chapter but I'll write a better one following this chapter. Hope you somewhat enjoyed it. I left character features/details off because these characters will be essential in Victoria's life.**

**Review. Thanks…**

**~Themysteryofjade**


	3. Chapter 3

Life simply had too many faults as did I. Life had too many quirks and what if's.. as did I. I needed a reason to live and a purpose but I didn't have one.

I didn't have a person to live for or even a reason. Sure I had hopes and dreams and goals but they weren't enough for me. I felt like a cheap person because what God gave me wasn't enough for me to live for and that alone made me a selfish prick. Still, I couldn't just hope for more. For more then school, then simple dreams, then writing novels, than finding love, than flying, then composing music, than sky diving, than travel, than simply just the world. I wanted more and I didn't want one person to mean the world to me to be my sole purpose and reason for breathing. No. I wanted a small group of things or meaningful people to be and signify the reason for my existence.

I wanted experiences but I knew they weren't enough.. They never were. I wanted to be loved by more than one person yet I wanted to love in return.

I looked upon my life and saw no meaning yet I questioned myself that if I were to die would I ask for a second chance at the same life I had or just slip away? That was the question…

I hummed along to a song I enjoyed and simply laid back on my duvet wondering what life would bring me in the future.

Yet I asked myself maybe life had already given me so much and I hadn't given anything in return.. Maybe that was why I wasn't happy? Had I to give more to receive then?

"Maybe there is a God above But all I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya, and it's not a cry you hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah…" I sang to myself.

As I finished singing that song and placed in repeat I began chopping the vegetables that I would need for dinner.

Suddenly I felt two strong arms around me and as I turned around to see who it was-

I woke up with a start with sweat covering my whole body. Was that really how I perceived life before this accident? If it was then I felt I was really missing out on something… something major. Yet who was that man that had his arms wrapped around me like I mattered?

**Review… **

**~themysteryofjade**


	4. Chapter 4

The song that is present in chapter three belongs to its perspective owners… the whole story and characters belong to me

~themysteryofjade


End file.
